Much love, Erich

If I May Be Serious for Moment...
Warning, this is a serious article full of scathing rhetoric that is bound to piss some people off. So, if you are just in the mood for laughs come back some other time.

I’m probably going to be in disagreement with most that read this page, or at least with the editor, but I’m always off the beaten path.

Burn the Flag, right now, before somebody who is afraid that we are losing respect for the stars and stripes forces you to respect it. I for one am going to perform assisted suicide on the flag if the constitutional amendment that just passed senate committee is enacted. If such a bill is ratified the value of our great symbol will be plucked of its feathers like the great eagle who also hold so highly. I’ll shoot it down and preserve it majesty in flaming glory before I let a worried old man rape the flag of its true hear and soul, freedom!

No one would burn the flag if it didn’t mean something great to those that burnt it. Personally I would never burn the flag unless I really wanted to get someone’s attention, unless I was so passionate about a cause that I would want to rock the foundation of this nation. We must leave this avenue of expression open to those who see the great problems of our society that those in Washington D.C. are too busy building highways and offices of the treasury to see without a flaming bonfire and smoke signal!

Don’t think I don’t respect the flag. The movie Saving Private Ryan actually made me want to join the army to do my duty. It is this respect that makes me realize the importance of the freedom that stitches the stars and stripes together. I doubt the reverence of those that would take so seriously the face of our national symbol without considering its true meaning.

That is my beef, and its that beautiful freedom of speech that lets me give and lets all of you give yours. Remember what the flag stands for and let people gain respect for it, not fear.

Unlike Godzilla, this Gekko Prefers Coke
The other night (Wednesday) I went to party with a buddy of mine. The party put on by some people from one of the singing groups here on campus (WSU), Crimson Company. There were plenty of attractive (hot) young ladies (babes), and there was even more booze. Well, I didn’t realize the strength of some of the alcohol I was consuming (chugging) until it was too late (very fucked up). Evidently at this party I was telling a quite interesting story. After piecing it together with my blurred memories and my friend’s recollection I thought I would share it with all of you. So, here it goes.

I was buying a hot-dog at a hot-dog-stand, because that is where you buy hot dogs, when a giant (really frickin’ big) lizard came up the street. Now, I tried not too stare. My mother always told me that staring was impolite, and I try not to be impolite (unless I’m drunk). This big (fucking) lizard comes right up to me asks me to buy him a hot-dog. Considering my size and his and the humidity (I don’t know why I had to consider the humidity, but I did) I decided that it would be best if I did buy the big fucker a hot-dog. So I got him a hot-dog, with the works (I ain’t cheap).

Then the (bastard) lizard wants me to buy him a Coke. I’m thinking ‘What the hell I just got this giant lizard a dog, and now he wants me to buy him a coke!’ So I give him a piece of my mind and suggest that he get the next bozo in line to buy him a Coke. He then politely points out that there is no one else in line at that point.

Son-of-a-Bitch! So I offer to buy him a Coke, but they only had Pepsi. Who the hell drinks Pepsi? Not giant Lizards, that is for sure. So we go wandering off looking for someplace that sells Coke while eating our dogs. Boy did we ever get some strange looks. We eventually find a gas station that sells Coke. He is a giant lizard so we get BIG (fucking huge) bottles of Coke.

After we finish all this Coke the lizard (strange, I never caught his name) tells me he’s got to piss. Well, where the hell is a giant lizard going to take a piss?

The story trailed off from there. Someone later pointed out that a giant lizard would piss wherever he liked. It was a damned funny story when we were all blasted, so I suggest you go and slug a couple or shots and try telling this story to a friend. It will be quite entertaining.